by Love M. Powers
My time is short on the island of Kauai. Just three more full days here in this beautiful place before I head back to Austin, Texas. I’m excited and I’m sad. Excited for the new life that awaits me in Austin. Sad to leave this sacred sanctuary.
The peace and the quiet is something I will miss. Exactly two months on this Hawaiian island, to the day. I didn’t even realize that till today. I arrived the day before Thanksgiving, November 26th. And I leave on Monday, January 26th on a red-eye to Seattle. Where I wait for over four hours for my flight to Austin.
It’ll be a long couple days of travel. I don’t get into Austin until about 6pm. From a quiet place all by myself in beautiful nature, back to the city into a two-bedroom apartment with my friend and her little boy. Her adult son joins us that Friday. Which is when I’ll be moved to the couch.
I’ve slept on plenty of couches over the last four years. I’m grateful just to have a roof over my head and something comfortable to sleep on.
I’m so grateful my friend is letting me stay with her until I find a place of my own in Austin (or I’m “guided” somewhere else). It’s hard to believe I moved all of my belongings to Austin back in 2011 and I still don’t have a home yet. Homeless still. I never thought I’d be homeless. Ever!
It has not necessarily been a bad thing to be without a home. I realize now that being homeless freed me from being tied to one place and having to keep going back to that home. This allowed me to venture out to places I never thought I’d go.
It was four years ago on April 1, 2011 that I boarded a plane from Portland, Oregon for the first leg of my flight to Los Angeles. Little did I know I’d not make it to LA.
As the flight attendant announced “This plane will be going non-stop to San Jose and then on to Austin,” I heard a voice inside my head say to me, “When you get to San Jose, you’re going to get off the plane and buy a ticket and stay on this plane to go to Austin.”
Because I had vowed to trust and follow all of the guidance I was receiving since I started hearing my guides so clearly on that fateful day in December 2010, I didn’t really hesitate [too much] with my response. “Okay?” I replied to that voice with a questioning wonder. Oh boy. What’s up now, I thought. Austin, Texas? I had never been to Austin.
I almost went to Austin in April 2008 when I had planned to go to a real estate investing seminar about investing in storage units when I had to cancel the trip due to a medical emergency. It was right after a week long meditation retreat in Corona, California.
I had planned on staying with a friend in Irvine for a few days after the retreat. Before I headed to Austin for the seminar, I wanted to meet up with a couple women who lived in the area to give them a presentation about my network marketing business.
I was doing really well with my new business as one of the top recruiters in the Portland area. Unlike the seven different MLMs I had tried before, I was actually making money with this business.
Within my first month in the business I had earned my first $300 commission check. That was more than I made in commissions in all the other seven companies combined after working my ass off for so long in them.
Multi-level marketing companies did not work for me. No matter how hard I worked at them.
But this business was different. It had a different compensation structure. And I was right when I saw it and knew I could make money with this one.
Finally. A way to create a passive income stream that would allow me to live my dream of singing. Well, that’s what I thought.
My friend, Alan, picked me up from the retreat. We grabbed some lunch together while catching up on the time since we last saw each other. Then he took me back to his place to get settled in and ready for my evening meeting with my two prospects.
The presentation went well. The ladies loved the business and I ended up with two more new business partners. That night I went to bed excited. Excited to have two new members for my team.
And excited to be with Alan again.
As I lay next to Alan, he reached over and pulled me toward him. We kissed and things started to get hot and heavy. But before things got too heavy, I let him know that Aunt Flo was in town, but was at the tail end of her trip.
My menstrual cycle would be over soon. Hopefully soon enough that we’d be able to have a little fun before I left for Austin in a couple days.
The next morning I asked Alan where I could walk to get some breakfast. I was so hungry my stomach was hurting.
He gave me directions to a nearby restaurant. It was a short walk.
When my breakfast was served, I was unable to eat. So I took my breakfast to go and walked back to my friend’s apartment.
What I thought were hunger pains was actually my appendix. I didn’t know this for sure and refused to let my friend take me to the hospital because I didn’t have medical insurance.
I remembered a voice in my head tell me on April 1st to get medical insurance. I ignored it, and continued to go without insurance because I couldn’t really afford it. I rarely got sick. I was always pretty careful and had never been accident prone.
I stayed in Alan’s apartment while he went to work each day. I was in excruciating pain with a high fever holding out and waiting for this all to pass. I didn’t have insurance. I couldn’t go to the hospital.
After a couple days, the pain did subside and so did my fever. I felt well enough to change my flight to go back home to Portland. Something told me that would be better than continuing with my plans to go to the seminar in Austin.
About an hour before my late afternoon flight home, I decided to start packing my things. I found myself with little energy and unable to complete my packing in time to get to the airport for my flight. So I changed my reservation and pushed the flight out a few more hours, into the evening, to give myself more time.
Before I had to leave for the airport, I had enough time go online and purchase some medical insurance, just in case. I also called one of my new business partners and was chatting with her for a while. Then all of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out. I quickly ended my call with her and dialed Alan’s cell phone number.
He sent me to voicemail. I quickly called him again. Again, he sent my call to voicemail. I dialed again. I was sent to voicemail AGAIN. I called again and again as he kept sending me to voicemail.
I called about seven to eight times. I was desperate to get through to him before I lost consciousness. I was sure I was about ready to pass out.
Just when I was ready to give up calling him, he called me back. “I have to go to the hospital,” were the first words out of my mouth. “I’ll be right there,” he said.
He took me to the closest place he knew of where I was examined by a doctor. The doctor told us to go to the hospital because he thought it might be my appendix.
I didn’t want to believe that. But, as soon as I realized that the pain I was feeling was not hunger pains, I do remember the thought that hit me when I first felt the pain, “It’s your appendix.” Again, I just didn’t want to listen.
Even so, I wanted to wish it away. Please let it be something else. Not my appendix. Not something so major.
I wasn’t sure if I’d be covered by the medical insurance I just bought online. I was so worried that something major was happening and I’d be stuck with a huge medical bill.
Alan took me to Irvine Medical Center where a doctor examined me as we calmly chatted about what might be wrong. I didn’t want to panic or anything until I knew something for sure.
The doctor told me a few different things it might be and then said he was going to have me get a CAT scan to find out for sure. So they wheeled me off into another room for the CAT scan and then brought me back to the same room.
The doctor came back into the room no longer talking as calmly anymore. “We’ve called a surgeon. We’re going to get you into surgery right away,” he said with a much more urgent tone than before. Uh oh.
In my head I kept thinking, “I’m going to be fine. I’m going to be fine.” Or maybe I was hearing, “It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.” Honestly, I can’t remember which it was now that it’s been almost seven years.
But whichever it was, I had this feeling that I would be fine. Simple, routine surgery to remove my appendix. No big deal.
I was introduced to the anesthesiologist, wheeled out of the room again and was out before I knew it. I didn’t wake up until 11pm that night, in a hospital room all by myself. No one was there. Not even my friend, Alan. I was alone.